A Peek Inside My Insecurities

It can be embarrassing to admit where you’re insecure and feel isolated and insular.  So we become petitioners of keeping people outside of a particular perimeter because we’re practitioners of not letting others see the true signature of our soul.  Since we’re afraid we’ll be the singular person with these flaws that won’t be similar to anyone else, so it’s just simpler to be the single contributor to our loneliness, because at least then we’re the commissioner.  That’s just a vicious cycle that’s more circular than a cylinder.  I’m definitely a sinister minister preaching myself into being a prisoner of my insecurities where I don’t allow any visitors to see me vulnerable and worried that people will see the real Kyrell.  Who’s a miserable sinner, has thoughts that are unutterable, with actions so far from honorable, and topped off wit someone that’s such a weirdo, that I don’t own anything memorable to make you like the true Kyrell, and think his company is comfortable.  Every time I’m with people I secretly serve them a survey with surveillance to see if they think I’m adjacent to humor with conveyance of fashion and attraction, because the famous fragrance of their acceptance is my payment to be complacent.  If I want you to be more than just an acquaintance, then I need to bring you past my blatant lack of patience for approval, because if you’re patient, you’ll see my real sick patients, which I wish were latent insecurities but instead have no faintness and are contagious with under achievement so I try to hide them behind my souls matrix.  My greatest fear is inadequacy, since I’ve built myself a building of pride, from the building blocks of everything I’ve accomplished, as I build more each time I succeed, but my early trials have been very easy and now for the first time my results can vary.  It’s scary to think I might not be at the top of the totem pole in athletics or academics, since a recent poll has showed I could get pulled below what I find acceptable, and in the midst of sifting through this mist, I’m even more afraid that I’ll mess up things with my miss, because I will miss the mark she deserves me to be able to mark to show I’m deserving of her mark.  I haven’t even articulated how agitated I get when I think of the standard associated with being affiliated with my family that wants me to be the reward of their parenting that they’ve awaited.  If you’ve waded and waited through this with me, I hope you see that even though I’ve dictated and advocated that I’m confident, I still feel weighted and frustrated by insecurities that make things a bit more complicated.

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