Why did I get the privilege to be this privileged ?? I may never be privileged with an answer, and I may never know why others were given livid living situations that are giving lives up to killings.  All I can do is be grateful for all the great blessings I’ve gotten.  Wanting more or better just warrants warnings that I’m being ignorant to what’s important.  This warring between appreciation and ego is hoarding joy, because I insist on whoring my thoughts to exploring all the things I don’t have, instead of sorting through the storage of fortune I’ve been fortunate to have been supplied with that’s storing no shortage of luxury or opportunity.  But I’m so spoiled, I find a way to spoil my parents toil by being attracted to puffery and possess no ability to discover how to make thankfulness a summary of my life without being prompted, because it should be promptly spotted in the way I live and talk.  I constantly contain a complaint about busyness while people are busy fighting every minute to work for a business and not end up as a witness to the witless wisdom of the vicious vision that visits poverty with a sight of life that sees the finish as being dead before 40 or in prison.  When will I quit pretending tending to tender comparisons to others is more worthy than loving my current journey that has really consisted of no worry.  I have friends and family that love me dearly but I dare to complain when they barely mistreat me.  I’m appalled at how I sincerely allow a series of merely inconsiderable inconveniences severely disrupt my week when some just want any sort of food or bed for security.  We’ve gone from the abacus to calculus on calculators and still can’t calculate correctly the analysis on thankfulness which has the miraculous power to free your spirit from paralysis.